MY MOM

 More than a few people asked me why I stopped blogging.  More than a few people asked me for my mom's eulogy. 

Thank you for

both of these sentiments and thank you to everyone who came to celebrate my mom's life.

Here it is:

My mom was a French major before she left St. Xavier to marry my dad and go on to have six children.  She loved everything French: she toured France with Mrs. Geary and loved the art,  the language, the fashion, the perfume,  but what we will remember most is that she loved the expression “ce la vie” and lived on a steady diet of brie.

Most of my mom’s advice to us came in the form of euphemisms and idioms.  She would listen to us for hours.  And at the end, we were told, “well.  Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.”  Which is a terribly violent image for a nine year old.  OR “Sometimes ya just gotta bite the bullet honey.”

Or the most dramatic, “M-Y-O-B” which was the sagest advice one could offer as a disciplinarian of 6 kids.

People were smitten by our mom.  We can’t go anywhere without people declaring, “I LOVE your mom.”  or “I can’t think of a woman more universally loved than your mom.”  or “Your mom is my favorite woman on earth.”   And that’s simply because she was the world’s greatest listener.  She validated your every feeling, and even more importantly, she never judged you for your feelings.  

There are people here today who were styled by my mom at Bellisimo; she would be honest with you with a gentle, “it’s Ok” and suggest that the easiest way to make the outfit was with a red or mustard flat or a neat scarf to jazz it up.  She was a fashionista, I mean, what daughter-in-law borrows a leather skirt from their mother in law? Right, Jeanine? Jeanine loved exchanging gifts with my mom often in the form of snazzy purses.

Even Steven Tyler of Aerosmith asked her for advice on where to get a watch.

And her sons in law loved her as much as we did.  She relied on them.  If my mom had a moth in her house she would simply say, “Call Jason.” And he’d respond immediately and happily and come to inspect for holes in the screens.  She really enjoyed Bill’s company, well, because he is a listener just like her.  She could actually watch Jeopardy in peace and quiet with Bill.

It’s difficult to express the love her grandchildren had for her.  The closest word would be adoration, but I don’t even think that does it justice.  You are very lucky to have Anne Whealan as a grandma; that blessing will carry you through the rest of your lives in everything you do.  I look at the way she touched Charlie, Brian and Margot’s lives and see just how far her reach goes.

Many of us have homes with Hilton Gift Shop accents, whether it be a sarcastic Easter bunny perched on your mantle or the ever so famous Christmas carolers that Jimmy can impersonate so well. Mom was the first one to have toilet paper that said HO HO HO and she always referred to the witch gawking at you from the fireplace.  “Isn’t she a kick?”

  

But our favorite has to be the sneaky jack-o-lantern resting on the bottom railing at 9211.  If you tapped it ever so softly, it would shriek “DID I SCAAAAAARE YOU??????”  My mom would turn the corner after we snared someone in her trap.   She would giggle, “You really got her on that one, Rose!”

My mom went out on her own terms that’s for sure.  We've never known a stronger woman and we never will.  She taught us compassion.  She taught us to take people for who they are and love them, warts and all.  She taught us that dancing is the best form of celebrating life.  She taught us that most of life’s problems can be cured with a couple of Miller Lites and half a Swanson’s cheese ball.   She taught us that clipping a newspaper article for someone was the warmest way to say, “I see you.” She taught us to be inclusive, always with an open door.

Everyone thinks that they have the greatest mom.  And that’s OK.  Unfortunately, though, you’re wrong.  We did.  And we will live the rest of our lives grateful we had her for as long as we did with no greater mission than to continue to spread love in the world.

Cest la vie!